I am adrift - Carrying a love that has nowhere left to land

 

I am adrift—
a ship swallowed by fog on a furious sea,
lashed by winds that do not know my name,
punished for a storm I did not summon.

A future I never chose has been forced into my hands.
It's weight presses against my ribs,
fills my lungs with saltwater grief,
until breath itself feels borrowed.
My heart labors beneath the heaviness,
each beat an act of will,
each step a quiet surrender.

I want to hide within these walls,
to close the doors against the world—
and yet the house echoes without him.
Shelter has become another kind of emptiness.

I know he is gone.
The truth arrives in waves,
and each time it breaks over me,
I turn my face away.
My mind and heart war in the dark,
tearing at what remains of me.
Soon, I fear, I will not fight at all—
I will simply exist,
a hollow vessel drifting on indifferent tides.

I am slipping beneath the surface now.
There is no air here,
only the deep pull of surrender,
and I am so tired of swimming.

No harbor light calls me home.
No safe shore waits ahead.
Only endless water,
and the quiet ache of drifting—
alone, afraid,
and carrying a love that has nowhere left to land.

dbee x