How to cope with bad experiences, pain and stress, and it's not running away

No title - Any ideas comment below - Mixed media

It’s been a pretty gutty few months but I actually feel that I am back in control of my life and my feelings. Things had built up and like a contained pressure cooker, it exploded taking casualties. Now I must admit I wasn't the one to blow up, but I am certainly one of the casualties who almost melted into oblivion.

When I was younger I would sit on Hayling Island beach and look at the waves, staring at their shapes, size and colour, (Yes, they have colours). They have a hypnotic, rhythmic almost cleansing sensation to me. The sounds of each wave crashing on the shore, cleaning the sand and my soul, it just calms me. It's what I listen to at night via an APP called CALM when I can't sleep, or my body is dog tired but cannot keep up with my racing cat alert mind which just wants to play all night.

Sometimes when things go bad for us, we just want to cut our losses and run to save ourselves from further stress and pain, and perhaps to save others too, however there are things we can learn from bad situations and experiences. So facing up to them is the only way forward, trust me on this, I have never wanted to hide in a corner, rock whilst hugging myself and try to be invisible so much until now.

Symptoms are different for everyone. Here is an example from my past...

  For myself I couldn't think straight. I would panic easily, I was frightened to speak. I would hide during breaks, put head phones on so not only could I not hear anyone, but people may leave me alone. I started second guessing myself, taking double the time, sometimes more to do tasks as I was so worried about reprisals and being made to feel stupid. I felt alone and vulnerable, as well as sick and shaking. I was once a very confident person, I became a nervous mute, who just wanted to be left alone. I have no idea why any person would feel the need bully, but sadly it happens. Those that bully usually feel inadequate, cant cope under pressure, hate their own failings, are jealous, depressed or feel unloved, so perhaps we should give bullies a hug.

Firstly how we cope with stress. Each time we get stressed and cope, it gets easier because we learn what works for us to de-stress.

Secondly how we cope with mental pain, again each time we learn how to cope with this pain better and also learn how to protect ourselves in future.

We need to face up to uncomfortable situations which may help us become better people. Perhaps the circumstances would have been different had we reacted differently to those giving us pain and stress.

My art, when I bake and even when I am just pottering around the house can alert me as to how I am feeling, they are like my own life litmus paper indicators. My Art will suffer because I have no energy or inspiration. And it is true what they say, when you cook you should cook with love and from your heart or the food will snitch on you when eaten, and it has with my burnt, dry tumbled lemon cake I baked to cheer myself up recently (Check out a previous blog). And when pottering around the house, if i'm not singing or dancing then it's a dead give-a-way that i'm unhappy. 

Perhaps if I had accepted these signs and spoken to others instead of trying to deal with the circumstances that got me there, things wouldn't have gone so wrong for me. And like a tiny pebble causing ripples in a pond (or a large rock in my case) those around me both professionally and personally wouldn't have been affected as much. From avoiding family and visitors, not wanting to leave the house, to being unapproachable. (No, I wouldn't want to approach someone who is on the brink of crying all the time either). 

Watercolour and Ink on Paper

So how do we cope with these sort of situations? We talk to people. I did try to use my own techniques, my 'Learn to stress bust and Doodle Art to calm your mind' workshop, but sometimes the hardest advice to listen to is your own. We must remember we have the power to change how we feel in our own minds. The power of positivity is huge and again, like ripples in a pond, can radiate out to others lifting their minds whilst lifting your spirits higher. 

Now I am not saying Positivity always works for everyone because that is not possible. (unless you are truly and amazingly lucky?) But I am saying it helps. Add to that some deep breaths and soft music, or in my case the sea, and you are well on the way to gain some calm back into your soul.

Well what ever happens now with this awful situation, which is not my making, (it's my life and yet out of my hands,) I will just have to see the positive side of things and move on. Perhaps I can see some more art on the horizon when the issue at hand concludes, I can feel like painting more and be me again, which is always a good thing as I like Me. lol

If anyone wants more details on my Stress busting, Doodle art workshop for groups, schools and workplaces please do comment below.

Also if you have a title for my beach painting above do comment below too. 

Until next time

Stay calm and bee Happy

X Love and Light Peeps X

dbee